It's a New Year and for many of us it symbolizes a fresh start, especially when it comes to our health. It also means we set a series of resolutions, but resolutions fail a lot of the time. In fact, a lot of stats show that people quit their resolutions within the first two weeks of making them.
A lot of my clients have gone through this process of creating New Year's resolutions, trying to become healthier or trying a new diet. They end up failing because they can't sustain it. What they set out for themselves simply isn't sustainable for the long term. They feel deprived and don’t know what else to do. This was my experience for many years as well. I did a lot of dieting – I failed a lot and things didn’t work. It was a constant struggle.
So, why does this happen and what can you do about it? Here are a few reasons I see as to why resolutions don’t work:
1. Changing Everything at Once
Part of the reason resolutions don’t work is that you try to change everything at once. So you pick up a new diet book, go to the gym every day, and do a 180 on your life. You’ve been so fed up with not feeling great that you need to change everything. It becomes a massive change and an all or nothing attitude versus a baby steps approach.
When we do this, a lot of what we are changing is new to us and resistance naturally comes up. The first two weeks are hard, there is a lot of resistance. Without doing the deeper work this will hold you back.
Many of the habits we have in our life create comfort and security. There is a good reason for why we do the things we do and oftentimes are a protection mechanism.
When we change them we become uncomfortable and resistance sets in. If we make a lot of changes we experience a lot of discomfort. So, what do you do? Focus on the baby steps I mentioned above. Change one thing at a time. For example, decide to go to the gym twice this week instead of seven, or start drinking enough water throughout the day until it is a habit. This creates more manageable change. Having support and getting to the deeper root of our resistance is also extremely powerful.
2. We are Externally Motivated Rather than Internally
We want to hit a certain weight or size or look a certain way because we feel we will get the love, validation or acceptance we crave. We will do whatever it takes to get there (or try).
I suggest when making changes see how you are feeling everyday, at each workout or meal. Check in internally to see if you are feeling good with the changes or not.
This is not powering through to the external result and depriving yourself of fat, chocolate or desserts for example. This is too extreme and creates more discomfort than we can handle and will likely end up in self sabotage and bingeing.
If you are eating in a restrictive way and not in a way that feels good then the motivation to keep going will wane.
3. Not Being Consistent
Consistency doesn’t mean doing something every single day. Rather, it is giving yourself a certain type of consistency.
For example you can start working out three days a week and after a month of getting comfortable with it, you can add in another day.
Consistency can also mean doing something a certain percentage of the time. Sometimes my clients feel if they don’t eat well for one meal they are not consistent and have sabotaged themselves. I teach my clients to work with a 80:20 rule so that if they eat one meal that is not “healthy” they are not throwing out all their progress. It’s not about perfection, its about progress.
4. Lack of Support
Support is important if you are doing something different to everyone else around you. If you have a friend that is doing it with you that is amazing and helps. Without support you’re left alone to figure it out. The voices of people questioning your choices might become louder than your own. “Why are you changing? Why are you not going out to dinner with me?” and so on.
While you are changing habits, if you don’t have the right support around you (friends, family, a coach or nutritionist) it will be hard.
A lot of the times my clients have me to keep them accountable and to support them (and guide them!). It’s hard to continue with resolutions because there are usually others trying to deter you. Whenever a person changes it opens the eyes of the people around them that they might need to change and that is scary, because change is scary. It's scary for the person making the change but the person making the change is fed up and more motivated to change.
Support helps us to continue moving forward through resistance and if we move through it eventually we can start to inspire those around us as well. Hence where I come in with clients!
There you have it the 4 big reasons I see why resolutions and diets don’t work. We usually try to do all of these things too quickly and I hope I helped you with some solutions.
If you need support please be sure to reach out and book a FREE Health Strategy Session with me.
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